I saved the World for you
by Black-Dragon-Ninja
Summary: This explores Tony's thoughts and feelings before, during, and after he took that missile into the portal to close it, mostly his thoughts and feelings about a certain redhead...


The first few floors of Stark tower were in ruins, generaters running power to most of the damaged building. Tony Stark was in his thankfully untouched bedroom laying spread eagle on his bed staring at the ceiling. You think for a guy who had just fought a war with aliens and almost died closing a portal in the sky letting said aliens into our world would be totally exhausted right? Well, Tony *was* totally exhausted, physically anyways, his body was battered and bruised and he knew sleep was a good healer for that. But his mind was abuzz, going over and over everthing that had happened, especially the moment he had tried to call Pepper one last time, just to hear her voice before he thought he was going to die.

When he had taken control of that missile and flown it into the portal, all he could think about was Pepper Potts, his secretary turned girlfriend. Jarvis had asked him if he wanted to call her, he had said yes, she didn't pick up her phone. Soon the phone cut off, then he had lost power to his suit. As Tony fell back to earth he was certain he wasn't going to make it, the portal was already closing and blackness was creeping up around his vision.

The crazy thing was, he didn't save the world for the millions of people living on it, oh sure that was a bonus, but he was really saving the world for her, for that beautiful red head that had captured his heart. He felt better knowing she was safe, but it was like a hole had been punched though his chest when he accepted he wouldn't get to say good bye, a burning ache that spread though his body. Finally blackness overtook him and he slowly closed his eyes, saying his final good byes to Pepper in his mind.

The next thing he knew was the Hulk roaring in his ear. He awoke with a start and found himself back on earth, with his fellow Avengers surrounding him. He was awfully glad he hadn't died.

So that brings us back to Tony laying in his bed, unable to sleep without having a nightmare, thinking of something he should have already let go, but that he couldn't..

With a sigh of frustration he sat up, rubbing his hands over his face, he knew trying to get some restful sleep was out of the question, and just laying in bed was driving him crazy...well, crazier then he already acted sometimes. Getting out of bed Tony dragged the comforter off his bed and wrapped it around himself, the climate control for the tower was still damaged and it was much colder then normal. He shuffled to one of the floor to ceiling windows, absently grabbing a pillow off a near-by chair as he walked. He reached the window and stared out at the city below him, so far all the bodies of the invaders had been cleaned up, store fronts with broken windows were almost repaired or at least boarded up. Cars and debris had been cleared from the streets with some souped up snow trucks Tony had whipped together. All that was left were the huge alien ships, those were taking quite a while to cut apart and dispose of safely.

Leaning his forehead on the glass Tony let out a long breath, fogging up the window. He watched as the cloudy whiteness faded, to tired to stand anymore, he sank to his knees. Propping himself up with one shoulder on the window Tony's thoughts drifted back to Pepper, and how he hadn't realized how much he truly loved her until he was on the brink of death. Tony squeezed his eyes shut, tears wanted to come but he refused to shed them over something that didn't matter anymore, he was alive, Pepper was safe, the world was saved, so why was he feeling like this? Replaying the moment of calling her and her not answering over and over, why did it bother him so much?!

Tony hadn't noticed he had fallen over until he opened his eyes again, a single tear excaped and ran down his cheek and he angrily wiped it away with the corner of the blanket. He was looking at the city sideways now.

He must have drifted off because when he became more aware of his surroundings again he saw that the sun was coming up, dawns first rays of light were illuminating the city.

"Finally, daylight." Tony thought to himself groggily, he really wished he could sleep soundly for a good ten hours but the dreams were to much and his mind was to active. The sun rose higher and higher in the sky until people started waking up and milling about, trying to go about somewhat normal days considering all the damage that had been done.

"Sir, Ms. Potts is awake and heading for your room, shall I delay her while you pull yourself together?" Jarvis' voice filled Tony's ears with it's pleasent accent, laced with just a hint of sarcasem, he had learned well from his creator. "No, it's fine." He replied to his computer butler, unable to find the will to move.

"Very well sir." Jarvis said, leaving his master to his own devices.

"Tony?" Pepper's gentle voice called out, she was in his room looking for him. It was funny how her voice could go from soft and sweet to loud and angry in mere seconds. Tony heard footsteps coming up behind him and knew he had been found. "Tony!" Her voice had an edge of panic in it and he moved his head and arms a bit to let her knew he was alright, that he hadn't dropped dead or gone into a coma. The footsteps stopped right behind him and he felt her kneel down beside him. "What are you doing on the floor Tony? Don't tell me you fell out of bed?" Pepper joked seeing as he was a good six feet away from his bed.

"Couldn't sleep.." He mumbled into his pillow. He could picture how Pepper's eyes brows would pull together in concern and questioning at his reply.

"And...the floor is better..then the bed?" She sounded skeptical. "What's really going on?" She asked, her voice low and soothing now as she placed her hand on his arm though the blacket.

Tony shook his head and reached out from under the cover to take her hand in his, he kissed her plam and then held Pepper's hand to his cheek. "Bad dreams...about...what happened." He finally replied, sounding every bit as tired as he felt.

Suddenly Peppers hand was gone and he actually let out a whimper like sound at the loss of contact. "It's alright, I'm still here Tony." Suddenly Pepper was laying down next to him, pulling the comforter over herself.

She cuddled up next to him, putting her arms around him and rested her head on his chest, the arc reacter casting a soft blue glow on her skin. Tony put his arms around Pepper and pulled her even closer, resting his head on hers he sighed loudly, ruffling her hair with his breath. They laid there in silence for a few minutes until Tony spoke again. "I tried to call you, when I was taking that missile into the portal, to say good-bye." He said quitely placing a kiss on the top of Peppers head.

Pepper didn't move, didn't speak for a few moments, was this what was bothering him? She suddenlt felt very guiltly not having her phone in her hand, waiting for his call, she should have known he would call at some point, at least to make sure she was okay. Before she knew what was happening she felt something hot and wet on her cheek and she realized Tony was crying. She reached up to touch his face and sure enough his cheek was wet. "Oh Tony.." Pepper said pulling away a bit so she could look him in the eyes. She felt tears of her own forming. "To say good-bye?" She asked putting her hands on his chest, cluching at his t-shirt slightly. "So, you thought you might not come back." Her words were soft. This time it wasn't a question but a realization of what had been going though his mind. He had been willing to give his up life to save the world.

"I thought...I thought I would never see you again, I wanted to hear your voice one more time, to tell you good-bye and tell you how much I loved you.." Tony stopped speaking, he knew that Pepper knew he loved her but to the best of his memory he wasn't sure he had ever said it out loud before. "I love you Pepper, I saved the world for you, so *you* would be safe." He said taking her face in his hands, he pulled her closer and kissed her deeply, a wonderful kind of warmth filled his body as he felt her kiss back, running her hands though his hair. To soon Pepper pulled away and looked him in the eyes with a confused look on her face.

"You saved the world...just for me?" She said in a wondering tone. "So, the millions of other people on the planet are of no interest to you?" She asked trying to make a joke.

"All I could think about from the moment I saw that missile was you...I saw a way to end the war and I took it, knowing there was a chance I wouldn't make it back. I kept thinking about you and when you didn't answer your phone I.." Tony trailed of, his voice strained, unable to speak.

That was it for Pepper, she started crying softly, her heart breaking for this man in front of her who loved her so much he was willing to die to keep her safe. "Tony.." She whispered trying to find that right words to say. "I love you too." That seemed like the right thing to say. "I wish I had seen you were calling, I would have answered it, I swear." Pepper said earnestly, grabbing his shirt tightly in her small hands, trying her best to let him know she meant what she said.

"I know you would have Pepper, I know." He said gentely, stroking her hair and back to comfort her, it was a twist of events that he was now trying to sooth her.

Tony pulled Pepper closer to his chest and held her tightly as she calmed herself down. She sniffled and pulled away just enough so she could see Tony's face again. "Well, you're here now, that's all that matters, we still have each other." She grinned softly, her face still damp with tears.

Tony grinned back and wiped her cheeks with his thumbs to dry them. He tilted her face up to his and kissed her forehead. He was about to say something when he yawned hugely, suddenly his body felt like it weighed a ton and his eyelids felt heavy.

"You need to sleep, I'll stay with you in case you have any bad dreams." Pepper said lovingly, running her hands over Tony's back, her hands slipped under the fabric of his gray t-shirt and caressed the warm skin of his back.

"Mmmmm." Was his reply, he was already going under, enjoying the feel of Peppers hands on his bare skin, his eyes lids fluttered briefly then shut. Tony's breathing evened out as Pepper spoke soothingly to him and continued to rub his back and he finally fell into a deep sleep.

"Jarvis, close the shades and turn the lights off please." Pepper said as quitely as she could so as not to disturb the sleeping dark haired man in her arms.

"As you wish Ms. Potts." He said as the lights went off and the automatic shades closed engulfing the room in darkness.

Pepper snuggled into Tony and she could feel him breathing steadily. The darkness of the room and the warmth from Tony's body was slowly lulling her back to sleep as well, her own breathing slowed and she closed her eyes.

"I'll be here when you wake Tony, I'll always be here for you." Pepper mumbled into his chest. "Love you.." She whispered as she too, fell asleep, feeling warm and safe holding the man she loved with all her heart, who had saved the world...just for her.


End file.
